So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
