that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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