I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
where does the pee come out of this thing
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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