YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Is Oprah even human
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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