Where did you get a picture of my penis
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
