is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
