Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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