everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
