Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
