As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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