I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
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Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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