So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
