I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
