What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Randomize
