So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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