We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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