Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
