I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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