you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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