these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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