You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
