I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
