There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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