He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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