I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
