I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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