Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
