I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Can I color on your dick again?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
