there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
