careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
