She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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