Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
