real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
