im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
