I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
