do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
