ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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