Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
