Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
