Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
