I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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