the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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