I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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