Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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