if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
