My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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