Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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