I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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