thus making me awesome and them whores
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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