We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
