i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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