i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
