Nicole vs. Life
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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