i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
