I am puke
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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