i cant cry in cvs. not again.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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