I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize