ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize