Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize